


Lost and Found in Blue

by zepptraxx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x20 coda, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Cas is a Dumbass, Cas loves Dean, Dean Loves Cas, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Happy Ending, Heaven, Heaven Fix-It, Idiots in Love, Love Confession, M/M, Post-Season/Series Finale, Reunion, Sam Ships It, Tags Are Hard, WAHHHHHHHH, also yes this is a love letter to castiel and What About It, am i doing this right, anyways i’m still crying even tho they went canon a month ago, are u okay bc i am not, fight me andrew dabb, if u think otherwise there’s 12 whole seasons of evidence proving my point Open ur Eyes, they are In Love oh my god, this is what actually happened offscreen, unrequited my Ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zepptraxx/pseuds/zepptraxx
Summary: Home is where your heart is.Except Dean is dead, and apparently now living in this “perfect” Heaven remade for him with the help of his heart, yet somehow said heart is nowhere to be found. So he goes looking for him.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 30
Kudos: 251





	Lost and Found in Blue

**Author's Note:**

> set after the horrible events of 15x20, We Do Not Speak Of It, except for this one time i decided to write a fix-it, i guess
> 
> this was actually posted as a stupidly long thread on twitter but i thought it’d be nice to share it here as well, also added a few more things/details but essentially nothing’s changed from what was previously posted :) anyways, i hope you enjoy my first addition to ao3!
> 
> ps. english isn’t my first language so if u see anything grammatically incorrect no u didn’t ❤️

After welcoming his little brother and breaking the news to him that yes, unfortunately that was really Dean and not a memory he never had, and _yes_ , if he takes a walk down the block there is a high chance he might end up bumping into the last person he would like to see in paradise, which happens to be their dad, and leaving poor Sammy scarred for death, Dean decides to take on an advice he’d been given a long time ago.

_You wanna know the secret to living a long and happy life? Follow your heart._

He knows he will have all the time in the world to catch up with Sam and everyone else later. Because right now? Right now he wants to know if he’ll really get to call this place heaven.

_ Cas helped. _

Cas is _alive_. Or well, at least _here_. Cas is _here_. You can definitely count Dean as thrilled and... confused?

Why didn’t Cas come greet him? Why did he have to learn that the love of his life, who also happened to sacrifice his own life to save Dean’s while confessing his love for him on the act, is currently breathing the same false air as him from _Bobby_?

No offense, but he’d very much like to hear it from the angel himself.

Since the Empty took him, deep down Dean knew, of course he knew, that Cas would come back to him. Just like he always had. And knowing now, that he is actually right there? He’ll stop at nothing until he finds him.

He’ll stop at nothing until he finally says it.

Sam and Dean part ways at the bridge and Dean pretends not to notice the knowing smile Sammy sends his way. But he knows how that helps add another piece to the great puzzle of Dean Winchester, the one that can’t wait to find its final and most important missing piece, and finally be able to show the world what it really looks like when it’s complete.

Dean makes a mental note to thank (and probably apologize to) his brother for having to put up with everything that he and Cas put him through during all these years of missed chances and miscommunication.

**-**

For now, Dean goes back to the road and takes the direction he feels his heart pull him towards.

Dean clearly has no idea what he’s doing.

But come on, this is Heaven. _The_ Heaven. Remade for him, with the help of one weird dorky little angel guy who knows him better than anyone in existence _and_ also happens to be the exact person he’s trying to find. This gotta work somehow, right?

He still hasn’t figured out how this place works, and it suddenly feels like he already drove through the entirely of it. Now he’s pretty sure he started driving in circles.

_ Come on, Cas. Where are you. _

Dean also still hasn’t figured out how the time thing works, but he’s sure forever has passed by when he feels a pull strong enough that makes him stop dead in his tracks. Stepping out of the Impala and into the green valley he’s now finding himself at, he looks around.

“C’mon, this has to be it. I looked everywhere... please.”

Dean nearly trips over his own feet when he spins around again and finds himself staring at the exact person he’d been looking for: stupid trench coat and all, but still beautiful. Still Castiel.

Missing piece found.

The angel greets him with an amused smile. “Hello, Dean.”

And Dean exhales. He’s been longing to hear those exact words since the last time he was told something similar, yet so different, by those same lips. “Heard you’ve been busy around here.”

Castiel watches him, smile turning sad. “I didn’t want you to see it so soon. You should’ve had more time on Earth.” He slowly steps closer and Dean loses himself in the movement. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to prevent it, Dean. But I’ve been working with Jack to make this a better suited place for you.”

“Hm, gotta say you got a pretty huge detail wrong in there, though.”

“What do you mean?” Castiel tilts his head and _dammit_. If Dean wasn’t already dead, that’d be the death of him.

“You really thought Bobby would be the first person I’d wanna see? Now don’t get me wrong, I was glad to have him there.”

Cas looks confused. Dean rolls his eyes. He missed him so much. “But I wouldn’t exactly mind waiting a little longer to see him.”

Castiel nods and seems to gather his thoughts for a moment. “I’m sure Bobby explained to you that time runs differently here, but it would still take some time for Sam to—“

“Definitely not talking about Sammy either, Cas.”

Dean looks at him expectantly. Castiel averts his gaze to the ground bellow them. “Your parents—“

He actually has to hold back a groan at that one. Cas notices, now regarding him with newfound curiosity. “I don’t understand.”

Dean decides to take a different approach, then. “Y’know, I prayed to you. Everyday, since I got here.”

That visibly shakes the angel.

”I can’t hear prayers anymore.” Cas glances away again, like he’s having trouble looking directly at Dean. Dean suddenly can’t stand the distance between them. “Dean, I’m not an angel anymore.”  Castiel gestures around them as he explains, “This is my heaven just as much as it is yours. It’s a... long story, but when Jack rescued me from the Empty, I helped with what I could. Then I found this place.”

It _is_ a beautiful place; the clearing with a small house by the lake. Dean feels a strange pull of longing towards it. Especially at the company. “It reminded me of you.”

Dean almost breaks his neck at how fast he looks back at his best friend.

“So I uh, decided to stay here, thought it was for the best. Then Jack told me you arrived...” He trails off for a minute. “And I wanted to give you some space. To be with your family.” Cas finishes, unaware of how those very words just shattered Dean’s heart.

“You are my family.” Was Cas still doubting that, after everything?

“Dean...”

But Dean doesn’t let him finish. “Don’t you get it? It’s you, Cas. I wanted _you_. Want you. In every goddamn sense of the word.”

Castiel stares at him. _Why is it still so hard for him to understand?_

“When I got here and heard you were around, I spent the whole time looking for you.” They’re so close, now. “The whole time. You’re the one I wanted to see, Cas. You’re all I wanted to see.”

It feels like the whole world, well, afterlife, is closing in on this moment. “Cas, I-I thought you knew. How could you not know?”

“Dean, I don’t think you—“

_Oh, God._ “I love you.”

Cas blinks. Dean says it again. He’ll keep on saying it however long it takes for the former angel to understand. And he’ll say it forever after that.

“Of course I love you.” Then again, leaving no room for misunderstanding, “I’m _in love_ with you.”

Puzzle complete.

Castiel is frozen in place, tears now swimming in those wonderful sky blue eyes. The sight so human it somehow breaks and sews Dean’s heart right back together.

Dean closes the remaining distance between them. “And I’m yours. Castiel... I’ve always been yours.” He gently takes his friend’s face in his hands, brushing away his tears. Lost and found in blue.

Dean feels tears of his own slip down his cheeks. “So if you’ll have me... this place? Is only heaven if it’s with you.”

At that, Cas’s lips finally meet his. He whispers, oh so softly, “Always, Dean.”

And at last, Dean finds home.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed this pls let me know your thoughts! i love reading those <3
> 
> & if you want u can find me @newtsjournal on twitter :) i mostly tweet about deancas there. and by that i mean they’re all i tweet about. i clearly need professional help


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